Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
