So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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