i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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