The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I just found a bag of teeth...
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
