Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
