I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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