today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
