Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize