You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
