Got a toothbrush?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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