before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
