Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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