Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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