So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize