You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize