i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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