quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
