yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
