Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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