So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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