Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
