Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
