This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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