I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
