I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Randomize
