"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
