Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
