Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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