Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
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