very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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