Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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