so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
