Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize