We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
It's never too late to be topless.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
