She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
i think my cat just said my name.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
