There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
