there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
