when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
