So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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