singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize