my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Randomize
