sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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