But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
