What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Randomize
