just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
