how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
