good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
