ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
