she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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