I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
