he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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