You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Randomize
