Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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