I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
