he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
