we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
