sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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