margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
As shirtless as possible
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
