the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
