He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
