you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
