Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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