Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
