no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
This is the high leading the old right now
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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