ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
