but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
