I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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