Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
